The One Time It’s Ok To Compare Your Kids

Comparing one kid to another kid can be very damaging.  Every child is unique and should be celebrated as such.  The only time it’s OK to compare your kids (and let them know the comparison) is when one of your kids is a humanoid and the other is a canine.  Here are our (Vicky and my) kids:

This is William Willis Ayers.

will hospital baby

Photo taken after Will’s birth in Presbyterian Hospital Main, Charlotte, NC.

Wasn’t he adorable!  Looks just like his dad.  Hate to say it (Not really, I love to say it), but he looks like his dad.

Here is our second kid, the canine one, Princess.

Princess, named after my wife :)

Princess, named after my wife :)

Here is my now 22 year old kid holding my 6 week old kid.

will and princess

Here are some comparisons I’ve been making. When they were six weeks old:

1) They were both adorable.

2) They both pooped and peed and slept a lot.

3) Princess has a biting problem.  Will didn’t have a biting problem.

4) Princess could go up steps.  Will could not go up steps.

5) Will and Princess had a very good set of lungs/crying volume.

6) Both enjoyed playing.

7) Princess licks.  Will slobbered.

8) Both posed for camcorder.

9) Princess puts her nose on her buttock. Will has never put his nose on his buttock.

10) Everyone who sees Princess, and everyone who saw Will, said, “He/She is ADORABLE!”

Reminder.  You are going to compare your children.  Be careful on comparisons.  Always celebrate a child’s uniqueness.  Don’t tell your children your comparisons as if one child is good and the other is less than.

Prayers for kids, canine kids and humanoid kids.  Prayers for parents.

Share
Posted in This and That/Grab Bag | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bet Limb Can’t Do This Again In A Million Years

We had a get your attention storm in Charlotte yesterday.  When I took our amazing new puppy, Princess,

Princess, named after my wife :)

Princess, named after my wife :)

our for potty time this morning I found this amazing limb.

limb

I bet this limb couldn’t pull off a landing like this again in a million years.  In gymnastic terms, the limb nailed the landing.

May you have an amazing day, and may you be amazed by all of life’s wonders.

Share
Posted in This and That/Grab Bag | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pray This Prayer With Me

Roadrunner at Death Valley hotel, photo taken by Chris Ayers

Roadrunner at Death Valley hotel, photo taken by Chris Ayers

 

God, we pray especially for those:

living at Quagmire Lane

listening to Mr. Profundis

cleaning up the messes of Fuddle Dumb

trying to catch Roadrunner.

And we give thanks for:

kids and teens and grown-ups who have not lost the magic of their childhood.

Amen.

Share
Posted in Pray This Prayer With Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How long, O God, must I labor for my wife’s labor?

mothersdaylabor

How long, O God, must I labor for my wife’s labor?

It sounds like the cry of a Psalmist, doesn’t it?  How long, O Lord?  How long?

My wife was in labor for 48 hours with our only begotten son, but I can’t just count labor hours.  I have to include pregnancy hours.  40 weeks of gestation = 40 x 7 x 24 = 6,720 hours of gestation labor.  Add 6,720 hours of gestation labor to 48 hours of delivery labor and the total payment is 6,768 hours.

It’s now time to inform you of my blissful Mother’s Day weekend ritual/servitude/debt payment plan, which I hope my only begotten son appreciates.  Every Saturday of Mother’s Day I am taken to Rountree Plantation to purchase plants.  Typically, it’s a hot and humid day.

This year’s haul was made up of:

Snowstorm Giant Snowflakes (“Proven Winners”) 3

Rosemary 2

Yellowbells 2

Geraniums 2 pots

Sweet potato vines 2

Superbells Plum (“Proven Winners) 2 flats purple

Also loaded into the SUV were soil mixture (5 bags) peat moss (2 Cubic feet) and some nasty smelling mushroom compost (3 bags).

This labor is done the Saturday before Mother’s Day. I’m going to give myself 2 hours credit for the Saturday before Mother’s Day ritual.

On Sunday, Mother’s Day, and also purportedly a day of Sabbath rest, I go to Home Depot and load every inch of the SUV with premium top soil (15 bags) and Pinebark mini nuggets mulch (20 bags).  When I get home I unload the bags, praying all the lifting does not harm my golf swing back.The Sunday/Mother’s Day ritual takes about 1 hour.

The idea is for all the plants to get planted the week of Mother’s Day Sunday, but it doesn’t always work out that way.  Whenever the job is completed, it takes about 4 hours.  So my total labor for Mother’s Day and beyond labor is 7 hours.

My sonny boy is 22 years old, which means I’ve already put in 154 hours of Mother’s Day related labor.  That leaves me with (6,768 – 154 = ?) 6,614 hours of pay back labor to go.

Imagine having more than one child!

I’m currently 53 years old.  Let’s say I can do garden work until I’m 83.  30 more years of Mother’s Day related labor x 7 hours (yearly average of Mother’s Day related labor) = 210 hours.  That means when I’m 83 I’ll still have (6,614 – 210 = ?) 6,404 hours to go, which proves you can never pay back your spouse for bringing your (plural “your”) child into the world.

And that was a lot of mathematical work to prove something I already knew.

Share
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

30 Frustrating Minutes – Miss You Mom!

heat air

It was a very frustrating 30 minutes.  We were on the way back from Yadkinville Fish Camp.  Keep in mind, my parents never ate fish unless they traveled 30 minutes to a fish restaurant.  Well, that’s not true, but it’s almost true.

We were on the way back after a wonderful meal of flounder, oysters, shrimp, fries or baked potato, and hushpuppies.  My mother had boiled shrimp.

Neither my father or my mother had long to live.  We knew it might be the last time they got to go out to eat as a couple.

On the way back to Advance, North Carolina, my Dad sat in the passenger front seat and my mother sat in the back seat with my beloved.  I was driving their Ford Van.  My father, suffering from prostate cancer, was cold.  You would think he was in Antarctica.  My mother, who had trouble breathing was hot.

Ever seen those dual control temperature controls in cars?  They are only so effective.  How do you separate heat and cold?

For thirty minutes my mother said “turn the heater on” and then in a few minutes she would say “I can’t breath”.  Then my father would say, “turn the air conditioner on” and then in a few minutes he would say “I’m freezing.”  Like temperature ping pong.  Hot cold, cold hot, hot cold, cold hot.

Dealing with aging parents trying to love each other can be very frustrating, but what a gift to have parents who loved each other to the very end.

Miss you Mom (and Dad)!

Prayers for elderly parents and the children who love them.

Share
Posted in People I've Known | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Pray This Prayer With Me

praying2reduced

God,

May this day for people who are struggling have:

unexpected humor

clues, where previously he or she didn’t have a clue

abounding grace

the triumph of some justice, even if just a snippet

emotions and expressions that bring new life

the release of what seem like hardwired resentments

Amen.  And amen.

Share
Posted in Pray This Prayer With Me | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finding Myself More Wrathful

mario castro

Mario Castro

It’s hard for a liberal Christian like me to admit but I’m finding myself more wrathful these days. There are a lot of bad things that happen in our world that have nothing to do with God and everything to do with inhumane humanity.

Ariel Castro, a former school-bus driver, kidnapped and raped three women in his home for a decade. Ms. Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight were taken to Mr. Castro’s home and chained in the basement. Although the chains were later removed and they moved upstairs, they were all forced to have sex with Mr. Castro. Ms. Knight told police she had become pregnant five times, with Mr. Castro starving her and punching her in the stomach each time until she miscarried.

As a liberal Christian, I have major difficulty with the wrathful God depicted in parts of the Old Testament and the New Testament, but I’m starting to see that wrath, in certain instances, has a proper role in the heart of a Christian and in one’s theology, one’s thinking about God.  Let me quickly add, that such a practice of wrath requires “a thousand footnotes and caveats”.  Any theology that leaves the theologizer all good and “the other” all bad is to be avoided, but a liberal Christianity that does not address inhumane humanity is not sufficient either.

Share
Posted in Politics/Current Events | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jesus Comics: Joel Osteen

jesus comics joel osteen 2'

Share
Posted in Jesus Comics | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jesus Comics: Chris Christie Quote

jesus comics chris christie

Share
Posted in Jesus Comics | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment