Goofed-Up Bible Luke 102:11-16 Jesus Refuses To Provide A Theme For Worship

goofedupbible27

Luke 102:11-15

After a long day of healing the sick and feeding the hungry, as the sun set, Jesus and his disciples gathered around a fire in which fish were being cooked.  Always the planner, Peter spoke up, “Jesus, can you provide us a theme for tomorrow’s worship?”  Jesus rebuked Peter, “I shall not give you a theme.”  Peter was insistent, “How can the people learn what you have to teach unless there is a theme?”  Jesus, wishing for the meal to be a peaceful one and knowing Peter’s obsessive personality, said, “Ok, the themes are God loves you and love your neighbor.”  Peter responded, “We can’t have two themes.  Worship must have only one theme.”

Matthew 53:22-28 Goofed-up Bible (Jesus’ Emphasis on Church Constitutions)

goofedupbible27

 

22Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 23 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 24Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 25Therefore go and start churches in every nation.  In establishing churches, begin by leading the congregation to write a constitution. Debate for a long time what should be in the church’s constitution. 26 After adopting the constitution be sticklers on following every jot and tittle.  If there is disagreement over an interpretation of the constitution, do not take such disagreements lightly.  27Let following the constitution consume you.  In following the constitution the congregation will be following me.”  28Jesus then ascended into heaven. (Matthew 53:22-28, Goofed-up Bible)

Mark 108:1-4 (Goofed-up Bible) – Jesus Chooses Inner Journey

goofedupbible27

Jesus was led into the wilderness where he was tempted for 40 days and 40 nights.  It was tough.  Hot, scare water, no food, loneliness, and just general bad accommodations and circumstances.  Not to let a challenging situation defeat him, Jesus used the opportunity to go deeper on his inner journey.  In the stark environment Jesus’ self-discovery was liberating, eye-opening, life transforming.  His mediation practice was stress relieving.  Jesus’ practice of yoga freed up energies in his body heretofore imprisoned throughout his muscular system.  Jesus breathed in and breathed out, and in one breathe he realized that being a God person was solely, completely about the inner journey.  The inner journey was the end all, the telos, and so rather than leave the wilderness Jesus lived in the wilderness the rest of his life.  Mark 108:1-4 (Goofed-up Bible)

Goofed Up Bible (Luke 133:5-8) Torah Study and the other stuff

goofedupbible27

“Jesus gathered his disciples under the shade of a tree.  ‘Folks,’ he said.  ‘I’m calling a suspension on healing people, feeding the hungry, and listening (all day) to people and their problems.  Frankly, I’m getting tired of talking about the kingdom of God and taking potshots at the Roman empire and the temple hierarchy and the other religious crazies in these parts.  From here on out, all we are going to do is study the Torah.  That’s it.  Torah Study. What God requires is that we know Scripture frontwards and backwards, in and out.   So start reading and studying.  Be prepared each and every day to have long discussions on the Torah because that is all we are going to do.'”  (Luke 133:5-8)