This is a photo of me in 1975 when I led my high school’s conference in points per game (18), assists per game (7), rebounds by a guard (10), free throw percentage (90%), and minutes played (38.5).
I also have the record for telling the biggest lie in 2016.
But for the record, if I had been four feet taller I would have been in the NBA. And I would not have been one of those non-athletic 9-footers. I would have been a 9-footer who could jump out of the gym. OK, maybe not.
If. If a pig had wings it could fly. If I had been four feet taller I could have been in the NBA. Maybe not.
Yesterday I went to my doctor’s office and when I got to the check in window I noticed the two ladies checking people in were laughing their heads off. Gradually, it came to me. They are laughing at me. Yes, they were laughing their silly heads off at me. I looked at one of them and told them my name. You know, that’s what you are supposed to do when you check in. “I’m Chris Ayers. I have an appointment with . . .” The laughing lady on the left said, “Pokey. You are Pokey.”
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
So here’s the short version of the story. My wife gets her allergy shots at this office. She’s struck up quite a relationship with the laughing ladies. A few years ago Victoria told them how slow, how pokey I am. Not long thereafter the laughing ladies noticed I had an appointment on a certain day and they decided to watch me to see if I was as pokey as had been reported. They agreed with my spousal unit. Evidently their husbands are pokey too, but not as pokey as me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Funny, funny, funny.
As it turns out, my basketball coach in 1975 told me “Ayers, you have one speed and it’s slow.”
If I had been four feet taller and fast.
What’s your biggest “if”?
May God help you and me to live with our “if’s,” our shortcomings. Get it, shortcomings. May God help us and others (including the laughing ladies and my wife) to appreciate all our fine qualities. And thank you to that person who wrote the story about the tortoise and the hare.